The One That Got Away

Yesterday needed to be an exciting, busy day for me to get my mind off a phone call that started my morning. I received what I imagine would have been the perfect job for me and for where I'm at right now. Except.... it was in Nevada. I'm in Arizona. I interviewed over the phone and then was flown out to Reno to meet all the co-workers and coaches who would be working with this position. It was very enticing. I was sold immediately upon my flight out to Reno.

But the mind can play some gnarly tricks on you when you've steadily been unemployed for the better part of three months. I really wanted the job. I still do. However, it was not practical for me and my situation so I had a long inner struggle trying to figure out whether or not I should take the opportunity. In order to keep my mind from exploding, I tried to keep busy with J.D. and Woodstock, allowing a day to really explore the Phoenix area and what I would be missing if I took that job.

We spent the afternoon picnic-ing and hiking around South Mountain Park, a network of regional mountain trails that overlooks Downtown Phoenix and the entire Valley of the Sun.

Sometimes a girl just needs some time alone with her dog to think.

By the end of the day, I'd talked to enough people who've done the long distance thing in favor of a job, I spoke with former co-workers, friends and family. The results came back split. I needed a break for dinner. Spaghetti squash it was then, with a zucchini asparagus marinara sauce atop. As delicious as it was, I was too nervous to eat.

Eventually I went to bed, tossing and turning and dreading the call I'd have to make in the a.m. With a heavy heart, I decided to turn down the position this morning. But, I freaked out. When the director didn't answer, I left a voicemail. How cowardly was that?!? Who leaves a voicemail??? Either way, I'm still hopelessly unemployed and in search of the right opportunity. It's so hard when companies aren't hiring and the positions I've applied for online keep getting reposted in search of new candidates. I wonder if I'm going to find as good a job in this area as what Reno had promised me...

It's funny because I've up and left so many times in my life for jobs that promised very uncertain futures. I packed up and moved to France with no idea where I'd be living. After living in Europe, I jumped into a job in collegiate athletics, a career that would be extremely demanding, despite not really having any previous experience in the field. I up and left my job in Stockton to move to Arizona with no promise of employment anywhere on the horizon. I've seemed to land on my feet each time. But I decided not to take the leap in this specific situation.

I just hope I made the right call; it takes a lot of courage to say no to a job you really want. Now I'm going to drown my sorrows in an afternoon of baking. Sleeping in late didn't help elevate my confidence level today. Maybe pumpkin banana bread will do the trick.